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[ Thursday, November 18, 2004 ]

 

"Oh yeah, the grass is green/But can you tell me, can you feel it, I just wanna feel it"

I took the evening off from studying to drive the girls out to watch the animated film, Muhammad (pbuh): The Last Prophet, at the theater. It was the last day that it was being shown, and it was quite an experience seeing a theater packed with Muslims of all ages. I saw brothers and sisters from all over: halaqa, Sunday School, college, and the community. I don't know why, but I got the weirdest feeling...almost like a reminder of another day when we'll all be standing together...know what I mean?

I enjoyed the film, but it was the aftermath that got to me. I hadn't known he'd be there. I didn't even have to be told he was there; I recognized him as he walked into the darkened theater room, even though he sat towards the front and I was in the back with the MSA sisters. I hadn't expected him to be there, and as a result, I felt unsafe in my own territory. I tried to ignore him in the lobby afterwards, which was annoying because I needed to talk to some of the brothers and they were all in the same group. When I finally got a chance to talk to the brothers, he was nearby and out of courtesy we both said salaam. I didn't wish him Eid Mubarak. I didn't want to.

I had to push myself to smile, laugh, and be pleasant with all the sisters since the evening had become ruined for me. We went into the restroom, and I washed my shaking hands because I needed something to do. All the MSA sisters then regrouped outside and we said our goodbyes. He was still standing outside with his friends when I left.

On the drive home I blasted Nelly Furtado's Folklore cd as I tried to silence the thoughts running through my head. I wasn't successful.

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