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[ Saturday, September 25, 2004 ]

 

Jummah

As I listened to Imam Suhaib Webb's beautiful recitation of the Qur'an during Jummah salah, I couldn't help but be reminded of Ramadan and Taraweeh. I remembered the strong state of iman I was in last year. And I felt ashamed to be standing in prayer in front of Allah, when I hadn't been doing so on a regular basis for the past month and a half. I stood there crying, with tears streaming down my face, wanting to prolong the salah. I knew that with the end of it any motivation I had would also be lost. I sat and prayed and begged, asking for forgiviness, wanting to believe that it would be granted, oblivious of the sisters who had already gotten up and left the room. Til I was all alone, the only one still sitting on the sheets, my hands raised up in surrender and hope. Only getting up when the sheets started to be folded. And then running away again.

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