User-agent: * Disallow: / ~*bean*~

~*bean*~

[ Friday, May 07, 2004 ]

 

You just never know.

As usual on Jummahs, we joined students and community members to pray at the YWCA. There is a masjid in the city, but it's further away, and the YWCA is more convenient for most of us. Alhamdulillah I came early enough to help the grad students lay down the pieces of cloth that we pray on. I was happy to think that insha Allah I'd be getting rewarded for that small act. It was nice to be able to sit relaxed for once, and reflect on the beautiful adhan. Usually, I don't always make it to the first adhan and feel rushed to get through the sunnah portion of the prayer. I love Jummahs because it's the closest I get to the pure, spiritual Ramadan feeling. Everyone shakes hands, and gives each other hugs and kisses. The brotherhood and sisterhood is always at a high point. We all feel connected to our Lord and to one another.

After Jummah, I saw Sis A, a senior who is graduating in a couple of weeks. I had seen her the day before in the library as I was exiting the elevator. She was in a rush to leave and I didn’t have much of a chance to even say anything to her, but I could tell immediately that something was wrong. When I asked her about it then, she told me that she was ok and that she'd talk to me later. I think it was probably because I was walking with another sister then, so she didn't want to say anything in front of her. Or maybe it was because the whole thing was too overwhelming for her to face at that moment. In any case, when I saw her today, I asked again how she was doing. I could see the same sadness in her face, and as I hugged her, she told me that everything was off.

She had been in the process of getting engaged. He had been introduced to her by her friends: very politically active, just as she is; they got along really well and seemed so compatible; they're both very religious and held the same values. They had met and decided that they wanted to get married, so they spoke to their parents about it. She was so ecstatic that it seemed like nothing could ruin her mood. He was supposed to be coming to her graduation, where he'd meet her parents. I don't know what went wrong, and that was not the time or place to ask questions. She looked devastated. I squeezed her tightly, and told her that I'd be praying for her, and that maybe it wasn't meant to be…that maybe Allah (SWT) has a better plan for her. She tried to shrug it off, saying that it'd give her a chance to travel on her own and do things she had wanted to do for a while. She had always been very independent, but I think somewhere along the line she fell in love with the guy and realized that she wanted something different. The fact that she was trying to cheer herself up, but at the same time get used to the fact that she'd be alone, made me feel even worse for her. To anyone else, she just looked stressed because of her senior thesis, but to me, she looked vulnerable and I could see the tears that she was struggling to hide.

In a way, I felt her pain. We can plan all we want, but life rarely turns out the way we want it to be. I wondered if her situation is a sign for how my own will end up.

0 comments

0 Comments:

Post a Comment