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[ Friday, January 30, 2004 ]

 

Jummah Mubarak

W called today asking what time Jummah was. He called me again when he made it to campus to tell me that there was no one there...then it dawned on me that despite the fact that I go to Jummah every week, I was so out of it from three hours of sleep that I told him it was a whole hour earlier than it really was! I felt so bad, so I went to keep him company until Jummah time.

We always have the most interesting conversations. He told me about his family background in Afghanistan. His grandfather had been governor and his grandfather's brother had been Secretary of Afghanistan. His uncle was a U.N. ambassador. His family was very well known and they lived well. We were discussing about how weird it is though...They had more status, wealth, etc. back in Afghanistan, yet they didn't have as many possessions in their homes. Here in America, they have to work hard and struggle, yet they seem to have more possessions in their home. I think he had some 13 aunts and uncles. His family moved to the U.S. when he was 1 1/2 years old, and afterwards the rest of his family started coming to the U.S. as well. I think most of his close relatives are here. His family had never been back to Afghanistan. His father finally went back to Afghanistan about seven months ago. He brought back photos of their old family home...The walls were covered with bullet holes and there was a crater hole as well. It must've been a painful visit to say the least. In some ways, it hadn't changed though...The same store vendors were still there and recognized the family. Subhan Allah, I bet his family has some interesting life stories to tell. He said his grandfather loves looking at photos of his youth in Afghanistan. His grandfather is really ill right now...He's over eighty and he's in the hospital with heart problems (Everyone please make dua for him). W also described one of his dreams to me...Subhan Allah they're really awesome! He said that he never told anyone that one before. I told him that he should tell his family, because it might comfort them. We also talked about Buddhism, hynosis, and dawah.

I guess W and I have a close friendship. It's funny because yesterday S saw me working on his birthday present, and I really wish I could've known what she was thinking. She's the sis who doesn't talk to brothers if she can help it. She asked how old he was turning. She asked me if we're close, and when I said we are, she said that's cool. We were both chill though and just laughing around...so I don't know what she thought. Later on I thought about her questions...and I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. I guess I'll have to talk to her about it sometime when we're alone. Things were a bit awkward for me at the end of last semester that day and I felt like she wouldn't understand, and would judge me, so that day I wasn't open with her about my plans from the start. Alhamdulillah, I'm hoping that she understands though. The fact that Muslims generally assume that you're interested in marrying one another because you're spending time together makes it hard for me. I guess I used to think like that as well, although I've gotten much better at not raising my eyebrow at brothers and sisters being friends. I think Muslims need to get beyond the whole marriage thing anyways, and just enjoy one another's company...I see no wrong in that as long as you're still modest with one another. And that doesn't mean I advocate dating. Shoot, W won't even use an empty elevator with me or pray in an empty room with me (even if it's publically accessible), so people better not be talking smack! If people say anything, I'm going to remind them to have a good opinion of their brothers and sisters. I'm going to ask them why their first reaction wasn't to assume that we're related (although we aren't, of course, but I'm trying to make a point here about not judging people).

Sisterhood is awesome, but at times you need a different sort of friendship.

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