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[ Wednesday, December 10, 2003 ]

 

Need Some Despazzing

Now that my chem final is over, I can go back to my normal life (Ha! That's a laugh! Since when is anything related to me normal?). It's weird because although I have posted quite a lot, I feel like I haven't really blogged that much at all lately. I guess it's because I haven't been as personal as I usually am or I haven't written about my days, partially because of time constraints but also because I don't think that my daily ranting are all that interesting to read.

But then again, what else am I going to post about? I can't write intelligent essays on what's going on in the world. I don't even have time to catch up on world news anymore. Shoot, I can barely make it to the protests and rallies anymore! Instead, I fall asleep in the library attempting to study what just doesn't make sense. I've become pretty disgusted with my own inactivity.

I turned down helping the MSA for the Feb. MSA West conference. I told the board that the only thing I can commit to right now is something like signing people in at the registration tables-something that doesn't require prep work. I guess I knew it was coming anyway. I had a lot to think about during Thanksgiving Break. I also received an email from our organizing group for the "event" about how during Winter Break we all need to meet, tie up loose ends, and start planning for next year insha Allah. After I sent out the email to the board, I told my dad that he should be proud of me. I guess I meant it seriously, but also sarcastically, kind of like, "Are you happy now???" Funny, I didn't feel too good myself. Of course I didn't tell him about how the "event" work will be starting back up. That's just not something that he would understand. I've had enough issues this past year over that.

But anyway.

Ramadan ended and with it, much of that beautiful feeling of community ended as well. Maybe it's just because we don't go to the masjid to pray anymore. Maybe it's the fact that with finals, most of the Muslims don't have as much time for one another anymore. Maybe it's because the MSA table is missing from Sproul Plaza. Maybe it's because I don't feel as close to my friends on campus anymore. Or maybe it's the fact that I pray alone most of the time now, and some days I don't see any Muslims on campus at all. or at least it seems that way. Even the Jummahs don't feel the same. I can't blame anyone. Things happen. We all get busy with our lives.

Maybe I just need to feel energized again. Maybe our "event" group meeting might help with that. Masha Allah they're such awesome people. Maybe we can feed off of one another's energy. Insha Allah.

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