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[ Wednesday, October 08, 2003 ]

 

Man, I've got like ten minutes to post.

I think I'm still upset about something I found out about, and I just need to get it out of my system. I had posted a while back about the Sisters' Ball that my sis and I went to. Basically it was an elegant social event where we all wore ball gowns or fancy traditional gowns and got all made up. Because it was only for sisters, almost none of us wore hijab. There were professional photographs taken and my sis and I also took pics of ourselves. We had a lot of fun and when we developed the pics, I hid them away, not wanting anyone to find them (because obviously we weren't wearing hijab).

Apparently a couple of weeks ago, a sister went through my stuff in my room and found the pics. Now believe me, it's not that easy to find those pics, and I wonder how she even managed it without me noticing. She proceeded to show her bhabis as well and then put them back without telling me. I know without a doubt that she did that, but I just can't believe that anyone would stoop to that level! I would never go through anyone's personal things, even if they allowed me to. There's a such thing as privacy. And even though she was told that the Ball was for sisters only, I'm sure she has a bad opinion of me because of those pics. Even if she doesn't, it just bothers me because I didn't intend for her to see them in the first place. See, this is why I don't like taking any pics of myself (even with hijab) and I just take everyone else's pics...Ehhh, it's just really disappointing.

It looks like my sis is getting quite a few comments about marriage on her tagboard. I realize that marriage is sunnah, but I doubt that any of us are really ready for it. I mean, you have to be pretty mature and committed to get married...and it's a huge change. Yeah, I have my moments, like many others, when I wish that I was at least engaged. It would certainly make it easier when dealing with other brothers and people wouldn't have any suspicions about you. It'd be nice to have someone to walk me to my car when it's dark and I'm feeling lonely. It'd be nice just to have someone to talk to who could give me some good advice and help me out when I'm going through a difficult time. And I'd love to be able to do salah together. But there's so much more to marriage...so much that both husband and wife has to give...I don't think that I could give much in a marriage. As you can probably tell, I'm pretty self-absorbed right now and busy with my own things. There are serious rights and responsibilities involved in a Muslim marriage, and I doubt that I could fulfill them.

On that note, I'm off to class...


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