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[ Monday, September 29, 2003 ]

 

Another disappointing day...

I was supposed to catch up on reading today, but I ended up falling asleep for an hour or two in the library.

I got my math midterm back today--a whoppin' 42%! Yeah. Go me. Even if I added up my chem midterm percent with my math midterm percent, I wouldn't get a 100%. I'm failing. I can't even begin to describe how disappointed I am with myself.

I had to come back home in rush hour traffic to get to the hospital to get my shot. I almost rear-ended a car. The car breaks made big screeching noises and I think I weakened my tires b/c I smelled burned rubber.

I was in such a bad mood that I didn't even feel like listening to Shaykh Hamza's tapes on Purification of the Heart on the way home.

Over the weekend, my dad told me that I need to get serious about school; either that or just drop out of college. Funny he mentioned that b/c I was already thinking about it last week. I don't think he realizes how much I study and work to no avail. College has taken over every bit of my life and time, and it doesn't make any difference. I want to become a doctor so badly but I just can't seem to handle the math and sciences anymore. If I dropped out, I'd be even more disappointed with myself. I just can't seem to handle anything anymore. I'm an idiot.

I used to be consistant with doing salah, and now I can't even seem to get that together.

I now have a few papers to write. Another all-nighter ahead of me...

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